JOKES

IHI NG TAO

Ang ihi pag matamis, may diabetes ka.

Pag maalat, may kidney trouble ka.

Pag maasim, acidic ka.

Pero pag ininom mo, may brain problem ka.

KNOCK KNOCK muna.

Ay Dyusko! Ay dyusko to say I love you, Ay dyusko to say how much I care. (I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE YOU-Stevie Wonder)

Phone na Nokia. Phone na Nokia, di sinasadya. Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko.

Kamuning. Kamuning get me, get me, get me. Baby i’m yours. Kaamuning get me.

Russian Patay. Wise men say, only fools Russian, patay can’t help, fallin in love with you.

Terminal. Terminal..every now and then i get a little bit lonely.. (TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART)

Alfred. Alfred my wings and i learned how to fly..

Bumili ng bagong folding bed. Bumili ng bagong folding bed (MAD AT YOU- Neyo).

Pikachu. No, I don’t wanna go to bed (pikachu). (MAD AT YOU- Neyo)

Fire, apoy. If fire apoy, I think I could understand. (IF I WERE A BOY- Beyonce)

River boat. River boat young when I first saw you. I close my eyes. (LOVE STORY- Taylor Swift)

Lady Gaga. Kung Lady Gaga ka.. sa piling ng iba..

Para, Mamang Taxi. I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow you until you love me. Para, mamang taxi. (PAPARAZZI- Lady Gaga)

Nido Gatas. I Nido boo, gatas see you boo.. and the hearts all over the world tonight. said the hearts all over the world tonight.

I-autoload mo ako. How much? Magkano? Nothing’s gonna change my love for you, i-autoload mo ko. how much? magkano?

Soon to Open: Pan de Manila. Uno, dos, tres, soon to open Pan de Manila.

Pritong Saba, Pritong Mani, Sinigang, Kare-kare. Pritong saba, pritong mani, sinigang, kare-kare. Hallelu— Hallelujah.

Tagabitbit Putobumbong. Tagabitbit. Tagabitbit. Tagabet bet bet bet bet. Putobumbong. putobumbong. Putobumbong.

Kabag Again. Now i’m speechless, over the edge of this breathless. I never thought that I would catch this, the kabag again.

Melon, Kangkong, Mais, Gulaman, Talong. Melon kangkang mais gulaman. Maari bang mag-talong?

Medicine. Bayang magiliw.. medi-cine.

Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa. Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa. (intro – always be my baby – mariah)

The Hill and Cow. The hill and cow ang sigaw ng puso ko. Ikaw ang nasa isip ko.

Honda. Honda first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.

Honda ulit! Honda wings of love! Up and above the clouds the only way to fly, is Honda Wings of Love.

Pacquiao. But it’s over now. Come on and take Pacquiaooo.

Lasengga. All lasengga ladies. All lasengga ladies. Put your hands up!

Twenty-one. 7 + 7 + 7.. Twenty-one.. 7 x 7 x 7, yan ang hindi ko alam!

BDO. Watch me on your BDO Phone. BDO phone.

Dina Bonnevie, Gary V. Dina Bonnevie my lover, Gary V with my friends.

Lactum. I Lactum move it move it!

Pulis may wang-wang. Pulis may wang-wang-wang! Shorty fire burning on the dance floor. Ooh~

Tuna Pie. Tuna pie, tuna limit, tuna wall~ for a chance to be with you i’d rather risk it all. Tuna pie, tuna fever come what may! ~

China. Chinaaa~ ika’y muling makita ko. Damhin ang tibok ng puso mo.

Buko Shake. Voulez buko shake avec moi ce soir. Voulez buko shake avec moi ye ye ye ye.

Mighty Mouse. Mighty mouse outside Chicago. Can’t stop driving I don’t know why~

English

How many countries are in the UN?

Answer: 192

The United Nations began in 1945 as a replacement for the League of Nations. It's headquarters are located in New York City. It's goal is provide a neutral ground where countries can air their grievances and to help stop wars. The UN has six official languages; Spanish, Russian, French, English, Chinese and Arabic.

American Falls and Horseshoe Falls are better known as?

Answer: Niagara Falls

This famous waterfall is located on the border between Canada and the US. The name Niagara Falls comes from the Iroquois meaning Thunder of Waters. It is believed that the first European to visit the falls was Samuel de Champlain in the year 1604. Sam Patch was the first person recorded to go over the falls and survive in 1829. Since that time numerous people have attempted to conquer the falls, by either walking across the falls on a tightrope or by going over them in a barrel. The first person to take a barrel over the falls was Annie Edson Taylor in 1901.

What race is known as "The most exciting two minutes in sports"?

Answer: The Kentucky Derby

The very first Derby was run on May 17th in 1875. The first horse to win the derby was Aristides ridden by Oliver Lewis. The Derby is run every year on the first Saturday in May at the now famous Churchill Downs. Although the derby has varied in length it is now one and a quarter miles and is also known as the 'Run for the Roses".

MATH

Q: What number, a one followed by 100 zeros, was first used by nine-year-old Milton Sirotta in 1940?
A: Googol.

SCIENCE

~ A diamond will not dissolve in acid. The only thing that can destroy it is intense heat.

~ A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
~ Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
~ An ounce of gold can be stretched into a wire 50 miles long.
~ Colored diamonds are caused by impurities such as nitrogen (yellow), boron (blue). With red diamonds being due to deformities in the structure of the stone, and green ones being the result of irradiation.